OMG, this is damned funny 
From:
http://sibehsibehsian.blogspot.com/
The long and short about The Charity Show
Cao Ji Dan: ´ó¼ÒÍíÉϺÃ! Welcome to the annual Sibeh Charity Show! I
am Cao Ji Dan, your host for tonight, and I promise you an
entertaining evening filled with lots of, eh, entertainment!
*Applause from the floor*
Guo Da Liang: And I am Guo Da Liang, your co-host for tonight! This
is going to be such an exciting evening, I am shaking with
excitement now, haha.
Guo Da Liang: Tell us Ji Dan, what do we have in store for
tonight?
Cao Ji Dan: I am glad you asked, Da Liang! Instead of the usual
dare-devil, life-threatening, and more often than not embarrassing
stunts we subject our celebrity guests to, our lucky viewers are in
for something very different tonight.
Cao Ji Dan: Over the past few months, we solicited feedback on what
are the stunts people really wish to see in a charity show. We have
arrived at a top three list, and here¡¯s the catch: You, our dear
audience, gets to decide who gets saboed honored. All you have to
do is to send in a SMS at $5.00, and the celebrity who receives the
most SMS will carry out the stipulated stunt!
Guo Da Liang: This is all very exciting indeed. So what is the
first stunt that we will see tonight?
Cao Ji Dan: The first stunt is a rather strange request from the
public. The chosen celebrity has to finish 600,000 peanuts within
ten minutes.
Guo Da Liang: Oh my this is a very strange request indeed. But
never mind, let¡¯s see which of our very willing celebrities will
get voted to perform this very fun stunt! Speaking of which, voting
starts now!
(A big ass projector in the background starts projecting a series
of celebrities, before finally stopping at a certain well-known
philanthropher)
Cao Ji Dan: And the people has spoken! Let¡¯s welcome Mr DD Dulan
onto the stage!
DD Dulan: Hello everyone, I am DD Dulan. *For some unknown reason
the audience started booing*
DD Dulan: Ahem. . . . I know the people have voted for me, but can
I be refrained from doing this stunt please? I have, eh, weak
kidneys.
Guo Da Liang: I am very sorry Dulan, but for the sake of charity
I¡¯m sure you don¡¯t mind sacrificing. Anyway, the peanuts will be
served in a gold-plated bowl so I¡¯m sure you will enjoy it,
haha.
(Dulan gets escorted to a corner of the studio where he starts
munching peanuts in a sibeh dulan manner)
Cao Ji Dan: While Dulan is busy eating peanuts, let¡¯s move on to
the second stunt of the night, which happens to be rather
dangerous: The chosen celebrity have to juggle basketballs while
somersaulting through a ring of fire. Please vote wisely!
(Big ass projector in the background begins projecting a series of
celebrities again, before finally stopping at a certain well-known
philanthropher)
Guo Da Liang: My goodness! The celebrity with the most number of
votes is Mr DD Dulan again!
Cao Ji Dan: Oh my. . . . As Mr Dulan is still busy with his
peanuts, we will get Mr Ricky Yong Tau Foo, who had the second
highest number of votes to perform the stunt instead. A round of
applause for Mr Yong Tau Foo please!
Yong Tau Foo: Hello everyone, I am Ricky Yong Tau Foo. *For some
unknown reason the audience started booing again*
Yong Tau Foo: Eh, actually I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m on this show. I
came only because Dulan asked me to, so can I not do the stunt
please?
Guo Da Liang: Wah, you like listen to everything Dulan says
sia.
Cao Ji Dan: In that case. . . . Eh, Mr Dulan, if you tell Mr Yong
to perform the stunt, you just need to eat half of the
peanuts.
DD Dulan: Ok!
DD Dulan: Yong Tau Foo, faster go do the stunt now!
Yong Tau Foo: Walau, Dulan you back-stab me sia. But since you told
me to, I must do it. *Yong Tau Foo proceeds to juggle balls*
Cao Ji Dan: Ok folks, we have come to the last stunt of the night!
The chosen celebrity will have to walk from Takashimaya to Far East
Plaza. On a tight rope.
Guo Da Liang: Now that is really very tough! I think it takes
really great courage from our celebrities to do all these
stunts.
Cao Ji Dan: Indeed. But they should have no complaints because they
are doing it for charity! Now let¡¯s see how you people have
voted!
(Big ass projector in the background begins projecting a series of
celebrities again. It stopped at a certain well-known presenter
this time)
Cao Ji Dan: . . . . What the ?!?!
Guo Da Liang: My goodness, the audience has spoken! Ji Dan, you
have been chosen to do the stunt, which should be no big deal
because you are a very charitable man, haha. . . .
Cao Ji Dan: . . . . Eh. . . eh. . . . I just remember I have
something urgent to attend to at home! Although I am a very
charitable man, I have to leave now because I have to catch my
flight back to Taiwan, haha. . . . Please donate generously k?
*Hurries off*
Guo Da Liang: Eh, that was unexpected to say the least. Anyway, I
have very bad news for you folks: You people are very stingy. We
have only received 5 million calls so far, which is well short of
our target of 50 million calls. Since we are running out of time,
our hope of hitting the target rest with the peanuts stunt that Mr
Dulan is performing. Can we zoom in on how he is doing now
please?
(Camera zooms in on DD Dulan, who is shown being force-fed with
peanuts by the camera crew)
Guo Da Liang: *Tears* My goodness, this is such a touching scene!
For the sake of charity, Mr Dulan has shoved 9,348 peanuts into his
mouth already! But for the sake of charity, I¡¯m sure you folks
will call even more generously if he manage to reach 10,000 peanuts
right? So Mr Dulan, are you willing to risk it for charity?
DD Dulan: Muummmm. . . . Mummmmm. . . .
Guo Da Liang: My goodness, Mr Dulan can¡¯t reply because his mouth
is full! But I think he meant yes, because he is a very charitable
man. Crew, more peanuts for Mr Dulan please!
(Camera crew shoves another few hundred peanuts into Dulan¡¯s
mouth)
Guo Da Liang: Let¡¯s do a count now! 9,997 peanuts, 9,998 peanuts,
9,999 peanuts. . . . 10,000 peanuts 
!!!! Yes folks, Mr DD Dulan has done it! He has
shoved 10,000 peanuts into his mouth! Can we hear something from
the very charitable man please?
DD Dulan: *Coughs out peanuts from his nostrils* . . . . Yes, it
was a very tough stunt, but I managed to complete it because I work
hard for my charity. Please donate generously, folks!
Guo Da Liang: Indeed, it¡¯s heartening to know that we have such
charitable people around us. Anyway, we have to stop the show
because we are running out of time. Thanks for your generous
donations, we hope you will do so again next year!
DD Dulan: Wait wait! What am I supposed to do with the remaining
590,000 peanuts huh?
Guo Da Liang: Don¡¯t worry Mr Dulan, we have made special
arrangements for you to finish your peanuts in our studio at
Changi. I¡¯m sure you will enjoy your stay there, haha.
With Love,
Sibeh Sian
posted by Sibeh Sian @ 10:36 AM 0 comments
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